From the recording Apricot Moon
For songwriter and community activist Lindsay White's 40th Birthday, fellow songwriter and music enabler Cathryn Beeks gathered an impressive collection of musicians to perform Lindsay's own songs for her at a large public gathering. Lindsay's songs are often very specific to her own personal experience, but they somehow still capture something that listeners can recognize and feel about our shared existence in a fragile world . I chose this one. The specifics are about a performer's life, but I think there's a subconscious cue in the story to apply the sentiments to our own work, compromises, and aspirations.
Lyrics
I don’t want to pay a publicist to like me
I don’t want to ask a journalist to write nice things about me
I don’t want to beg my friends to come to my next show
I don’t want to paste my stupid face on stupid clothes
I just want to write a song that saves the world
or pays my rent
when chasing your dreams turns to chasing your tail
you start asking yourself where the hell all the time went
I don’t want to shake a hand and fake my admiration
I don’t want to stoke or fan the flames of my frustration
I don’t want to envy when my friends enjoy successes
or provide for free bits of me just to see who it impresses
I just want to write a song that saves the world
or pays my rent
when chasing your dreams turns to chasing your tail
you start asking yourself where the hell all the time went
I don’t want to be negative I’ll quit my bellyaching
I don’t want to second guess my purpose or decision making
I don’t want the past or future to chase me up a tree
If I stay here in this moment
Maybe my dreams might chase me
I just want to write a song that saves the world
or pays my rent
when chasing your dreams turns to chasing your tail
you start asking yourself where the hell all the time went
I don’t want to pay a publicist to like me